Friday, July 26, 2013

Small and Happy Things


Lately life has felt like static -- a series of small happy events and moments enveloped in a haze, eclipsed by unhealthy, negative emotions.  Trying to live with these feelings, or deal with them, has been a full time occupation. Things don't seem to be getting easier, but it's important, I think, to believe that every day is a step in a better direction -- or make each day one.

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Find your direction and follow it, right? If I am ever going to snap out of this funk, I'm going to have to work every day to achieve my real goals and not get mired down in the nonsense that happens every day. So much of what I do at work, for example, is wonderful -- connecting children with books they enjoy is the best feeling in the world. It's important to remember that when horrible nonsense comes up, when people are awful, and when my thoughts won't stop spinning in negative circles.


I have been working on a few new projects, but everything is coming together slowly. I'm needle felting a large and thoroughly ridiculous ladybug-inspired daruma, getting back to writing in my journal to drain myself of whatever daily nonsense I can, and working on a few other fun things -- one step at a time.

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Today it was cool enough to go hiking. Spending time alone in the woods, it felt like my head was clear and calm, like everything was far away. Remind me to be more active, spend more time doing what I love, and remember what makes me happy. Remind me to take the time to make sure that I love and care for myself and what is really important.  Remind me to stop giving my time and energy to things that aren't.